vendredi 24 juin 2011

Souffrir pour être belle*


During my daily Facebook browse, a link posted by one of my classmates caught my eye. It was an advertisement for an event taking place in a well-known brand's shop on the Champs Elysées, where you could come and have an expert pick a shade of lipstick supposed to be suited to your skin tone. I am not a huge make-up fan, but the concept was alluring, so I decided to go and have a look with my aunt during our lunch break.
 
I was expecting to find a huge queue but no, it was just us and an elderly woman sitting on a make-up chair, grumbling. Wondering what was going to happen next, I barely had time to sit down before a tall, tanned (nearly orange), 'glossy' guy flounces in. Not only was I dreading sitting on a plastic chair in front of a flaw-exposing mirror having my face picked at by some random salesgirl, now I was going to be made up by a GUY. Surreal. Anyway, 'Call me David' wears sunglasses inside, reeks of expensive perfume, and moans about the difficulty of finding a decent boyfriend. And looks surprised when my aunt tells him she is (heavily) pregnant. Not that you can see it at all, it's only due in two months.. 
 
After having her face fussed about with, said woman goes off to purchase 150euros worth of make-up. Well, she did look pretty fantastic for her age, after David dabbled about her face. But remember, I am only here for LIPSTICK, so keep it short and sweet please mister. Ahhh, David gushes, but with the deal is included a full makeover, and even when I protest he pins me down on my chair and nearly suffocates me with his scent. Here we go then.
 
First step : the eyes. The guy lines them with a special wax pencil. 'But I already have liquid eyeliner on my top lid, won't it be too much?' Cue David to reply : 'Chérie, c'est moche**. I don't like it, I am taking it off. It makes your eyes droop.' Right. I mentally throw out my beloved Topshop liquid eyeliner. I'll admit what he does is pretty impressive. Bronze eyeshadow, and brown mascara, because apparently black mascara is too dramatic for blue eyes. Well, that's a first. Is this guy planning on busting my whole make-up bag's credibility? 'Vous avez des yeux magnifiques, alors MONTREZ-LES!'***, he screams in my ear.
 
As he fusses around with my face, David lets out a sigh. 'You have a beautiful face, and you are lucky to still be so young. Look, no wrinkles!' At 19, already having wrinkles would be very scary. He then says that he is 40. I gasp. He looks about 20! He is tanned and lean and tight-skinned! And he is 6 years younger than my mum! I start thinking that he must be a serious beauty fairy (no pun intended) to be able to look so young by only using cosmetics. So I take a renewed interest in this impromptu makeover.
 
And voilà, the magic works. As he smoothes in the brand's signature foundation, I glow. Not in a tacky J-Lo way, more in a 'I have just come back from a holiday on the Riviera with my lover' one. Needless to say, a very good look. I am astonished, and so is my aunt. I then act on one of my Yorkshire impulses : I ask the price, then nearly faint when I hear it. Oh well, I'll just have to achieve that sort of glow myself. But SuperAunt steps in and treats me, and I am so so so so grateful. It may be petty, but a good beauty product, that makes you feel beautiful every day, is essential in a quest for a happy life : it's just a little morning gesture, but it goes a long way mood-wise.
 
I saunter out of the shop, clutching my swanky, emblazoned paper bag. In addition to my super foundation, David put in a free lipstick. I open it, full of hope. Bright fuschia. Not exactly my sort of look. A bit too 'Trianon Trollop'. Ah well, it's reassuring in a way, David isn't a complete beauty queen, he can't really be an expert on lipstick, can he? Unless..
 

*Suffer to be beautiful
**Darling, it looks ugly.
***You have magnificent eyes, so SHOW THEM!

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